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StomaStumpy
Lincolnshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,255
Tiger Sport


icon26 Sep 2018 19:04
Some of you may know (and few may even care) that I've had various dietary problems for some time. Having had several fruitless trips to the GP I got slightly grumpy when I went to see the latest chappy.
He agreed that things were not quite right (after putting fingers into cavities normally associated with customs officers) and got me down for an endoscopy and some biopsies and blood tests.
Last week I was brutally assaulted by a man with a camera on the end of a hose pipe. I can now say I've seen the opening to my appendix.
However what I and all of the trained people in the room saw on the screen was also a large tumour.
Everyone else coming out of endoscopy got a cup of tea and a tray of biscuits. I got a glass of water and a private chat with a nurse specialist!

I then spent the rest of the day being wheeled around Grantham hospital and stuck inside various expensive looking machines.
Today I got a call from the hospital. I do have a malignant tumour up my arse, but fortunately the CT scan showed no signs of any other little lurkers in my body. This news was actually quite a relief. I've only got bowel cancer and that can be fixed!

They still haven't established if I have any underlying dietary problem.
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---KK---
Essex,
United Kingdom

Posts: 807
Enthusiast


icon26 Sep 2018 19:43
Crikey, I wish you all the best with the treatment.
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russ123rocket
Swinetown, Wiltshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 562
Enthusiast


icon26 Sep 2018 20:01
Good luck Dave, hope it all goes well.:thumbup:
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Krautophile
Hunts & Crawley,
United Kingdom

Posts: 57,365
Street Triple


icon26 Sep 2018 20:06
Indeed good luck Stumpy! Hopefully all goes well :thumbup::thumbup:
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ChazzyB
Surrey,
United Kingdom

Posts: 1,192
Enthusiast


icon26 Sep 2018 20:12
I've never managed to remember very much about what I've seen during my rather too many colonoscopies. It must be getting on for double-digits (:speechless:) now. The prep beforehand is still the most unpleasant part. :cry:

Best of luck with your treatment.
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Earl 2
Powys,
United Kingdom

Posts: 192
Tiger 800XC


icon26 Sep 2018 20:20
Bloody he’ll mate thank god theyve caught it early and you can get fixed

Fingers crossed it won’t be a pain in the arse lol
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russ123rocket
Swinetown, Wiltshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 562
Enthusiast


icon26 Sep 2018 20:50
Earl 2:
Fingers crossed it ......


are you taking the piss? :blush::blush::lol::lol:
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Koro
Severn Valley,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,367
Speed Triple T309


icon26 Sep 2018 21:22
Looks like you are ready to face this head on and best wishes to you.
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~Bluelabel~
The Shades, Ongar,,
United Kingdom

Site Moderator
Posts: 58,445
Thunderbird Sport (98-00)


icon26 Sep 2018 23:31
Christ Dave... beat the bastid mate.. Jackie and I are thinking of you
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onlineStrongy
Cumbria,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,996
Daytona 955i (04-06)


icon27 Sep 2018 06:37
Hope everything works out OK Dave.
the op will be painless its the coming round that hurts :smirk::smirk:

keep yer chin up :thumbup::thumbup:
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Exup
Maesteg, South Wales,
United Kingdom

Posts: 425
Daytona 675


icon27 Sep 2018 07:38
Good luck Dave.:thumbup:
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Hov
Sussex,
United Kingdom

Posts: 2,534
Rocket III Classic (07-09)


icon27 Sep 2018 08:42
Being outspoken about this from day one is going to help.:thumbup:
All the best.
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BINKIE -AKA Woodie
Upper Bucklebury,
United Kingdom

Posts: 2,351
Tiger (07->)


icon27 Sep 2018 10:01
Good Luck matey
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ST
South,
United Kingdom

Posts: 109,018
Enthusiast


icon27 Sep 2018 10:28
sorry to hear this mate - stay strong & never give up !
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Danny
SE Wales,
United Kingdom

Posts: 5,300
America (02->)


icon27 Sep 2018 10:56
After the very bad news it is good that no secondary's were found and that is the new positive. Wishing you all the best. :thumbup:
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StomaStumpy
Lincolnshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,255
Tiger Sport


icon27 Sep 2018 10:58
I did ask what the colonoscopy procedure entailed.
They put a flexible tube up your bum.
/media/file/134276.aspx
Attached to this is a small camera;
/media/file/134275.aspx
with a light source;
/media/file/134277.aspx
This also has an air injector so that your bowel is slightly inflated to aid the view;
/media/file/134280.aspx
There is a little snipping tool to remove polyps and take biopsy samples;
/media/file/134278.aspx
and a vacuum to capture any bits and pieces and to clear out any residual detritus;
/media/file/134279.aspx

No wonder it was uncomfortable!
I did ask what would happen if anything came off and got wedged up there. Apparently you get to keep it.
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Danny
SE Wales,
United Kingdom

Posts: 5,300
America (02->)


icon27 Sep 2018 11:03
:lol:
I like a dark sense of humour.:thumbup:
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Baldbloke
Moray,
United Kingdom

Posts: 3,469
Daytona T595


icon27 Sep 2018 12:01
I believe colonic cancers are the ones most easily sorted. I've also had the hose and wind up the old arsehole. Not the most pleasant experience but better than leaving the f!$%er up there:thumbup:
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jaguartvr
Englefield Green,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,733
Enthusiast


icon27 Sep 2018 14:25
Good luck:thumbup:
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the fat controller
Belfast,
United Kingdom

Posts: 2,429
Tiger (01-06)


icon27 Sep 2018 16:36
To get that procedure I had to drink some sort of liquid which I think was designed by NASA to put a rocket in space because the stuff came out the back end with such force I could have done with a seat belt on the cassie to stop me taking off!:sick:

Hope you get sorted soon, and if you go under the knife to have part of the bowel removed the one piece of advice I will impart for during recovery is do not trust a fart :sick::lol:
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onlineThat bloke Nick
Birley edge,
United Kingdom

Posts: 351
Daytona 675 SE


icon27 Sep 2018 17:34
All the best mate, hope you get it sorted soon.:thumbup:
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StomaStumpy
Lincolnshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,255
Tiger Sport


icon27 Sep 2018 19:27
Moviprep instructions: "You will experience watery stools"
No you won't. You'll experience something akin to the output from a jet-ski!
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ChazzyB
Surrey,
United Kingdom

Posts: 1,192
Enthusiast


icon27 Sep 2018 19:33
StumpyDave:
Moviprep instructions: "You will experience watery stools"
No you won't. You'll experience something akin to the output from a jet-ski!


Astonising what a bit of peristalsis can do. :lol:
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red baron
n\w london,
United Kingdom

Posts: 17,056
Daytona T595


icon27 Sep 2018 20:28
Good luck dave:thumbup:
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Henpecked
Gtr Manchester,
United Kingdom

Posts: 1,653
Sprint ST (05->)


icon27 Sep 2018 23:07
Strongy:
Hope everything works out OK Dave.
the op will be painless its the coming round that hurts :smirk::smirk:


Not the same op but stick a post it to your forehead saying "Morphine before waking me up please" bastids woke me and wondered why i was talking through gritted teeth. Then said "oh we forgot your morphine sorry!" 2 mins later I couldn't care less.

I think its only fair as they write things on you to make sure they cut the right bits

Good luck with the treatment.:thumbup:
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Nick S
Coffs Harbour,
Australia

Bonneville T100 (09->)


icon27 Sep 2018 23:44
Good luck with it SD:thumbup:
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Boycie
Winterdown,
United Kingdom

Site Moderator
Posts: 19,232
Speed Triple T509


icon28 Sep 2018 09:30
StumpyDave:
Moviprep instructions: "You will experience watery stools"
No you won't. You'll experience something akin to the output from a jet-ski!


lol:lol: ... Good luck Dave ...!
coincidentally my FiL was diagnosed on the same day for prostate cancer ... so he's having a team rummage around his nether regions ...

take it easy & do as you are told :thumbup:you'll be reet
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lord homertrix stand up
derbyshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 24,598
Daytona 955i (99-01)


icon28 Sep 2018 11:30
Sounds awesome to me, you could have one of them s!$% bags fitted nicely in reach with a zip fitted in your leathers to zip, grab and grenade launch it at a car windscreen as you overtake it, mad max style. :evil::smile:

Also no more ring sting after a hot curry, just take the bag off an throw it over the fence for next doors dog to play with
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Katies Grandad
Snot on the Ouse,
United Kingdom

Posts: 2,207
Speed Triple 1050


icon28 Sep 2018 19:20
I don't know you , but all the best. I hope they took the camera off the tripod first.
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Earl 2
Powys,
United Kingdom

Posts: 192
Tiger 800XC


icon28 Sep 2018 19:46
Tripod is least of his problems the bloody camera man wasn’t the smallest :beatup:
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StomaStumpy
Lincolnshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,255
Tiger Sport


icon28 Sep 2018 20:05
I don't understand why the needed a sound man with one of those huge furry things!
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Hydrocarbonharry
South West,
United Kingdom

Posts: 714
Enthusiast


icon02 Oct 2018 20:39
Best of luck mate that one is a piece of piss er second cancer outbreak here . Now on 5th and 22 years still alive and kicking . Positive thoughts .
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Baldbloke
Moray,
United Kingdom

Posts: 3,469
Daytona T595


icon03 Oct 2018 15:57
Apologies, wrong thread:blush: Hope everything goes well:thumbup:
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Obee Wan
Angles of the East,
United Kingdom

Speed Triple T309


icon03 Oct 2018 20:13
Sounds like your persistence paid off Dave.:thumbup: Just glad you caught it early enough - having suffered similar probing in the same region and my japs as well, you have my sympathy. Good luck with the op and recovery, all s!$% down hill from now on!:tongueout::lol:
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---KK---
Essex,
United Kingdom

Posts: 807
Enthusiast


icon03 Oct 2018 20:28
Obee Wan:
.......... all s!$% down hill from now on!:tongueout::lol:


I bought this tee Shirt the other day. :lol:

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0883/8...
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Obee Wan
Angles of the East,
United Kingdom

Speed Triple T309


icon03 Oct 2018 20:44
:lol::thumbup:
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~Bluelabel~
The Shades, Ongar,,
United Kingdom

Site Moderator
Posts: 58,445
Thunderbird Sport (98-00)


icon03 Oct 2018 22:11
f!$% me... I need wunno those...!!!:sad:
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Obee Wan
Angles of the East,
United Kingdom

Speed Triple T309


icon04 Oct 2018 08:25
Well I guess if aliens abduct certain of us in the future, at least we'll know the full horror of an anal probe!:beatup::tongueout:

Thought I'd get that one in before Stu or RM got going.:lol:
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StomaStumpy
Lincolnshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,255
Tiger Sport


icon04 Oct 2018 09:52
I must have a particularly attractive bottom. Every medical professional I meet wants to get their hands on it.
To be honest, I think the woman I sit next to in the office has been eyeing up my arse as well.
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lord homertrix stand up
derbyshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 24,598
Daytona 955i (99-01)


icon04 Oct 2018 15:18
Bit of UTS
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russ123rocket
Swinetown, Wiltshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 562
Enthusiast


icon04 Oct 2018 16:53
StumpyDave:
I must have a particularly attractive bottom. Every medical professional I meet wants to get their hands on it.
To be honest, I think the woman I sit next to in the office has been eyeing up my arse as well.


My mate Andy did mention that your ass looked quite nice on the back of my bike when you rode bitch with me.......
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StomaStumpy
Lincolnshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,255
Tiger Sport


icon04 Oct 2018 17:28
lord homertrix stand up:
Bit of UTS


After my recent experiences I honestly cannot understand why anyone would shove something up their arse for fun.

russ123rocket:
My mate Andy did mention that your ass looked quite nice on the back of my bike when you rode bitch with me.......


:blush:
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Earl 2
Powys,
United Kingdom

Posts: 192
Tiger 800XC


icon04 Oct 2018 18:20
Armageddon :lol:
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russ123rocket
Swinetown, Wiltshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 562
Enthusiast


icon04 Oct 2018 19:42
Quote:
My mate Andy did mention that your ass looked quite nice on the back of my bike when you rode bitch with me.......


Although I have to say Dave leaning forward to smell my aftershave on my neck whilst riding did put me off once or twice......
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Skeet
The North,
United Kingdom

Posts: 1,941
Enthusiast


icon04 Oct 2018 19:49
Best of luck:thumbup:
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Markst3
Anglia,
United Kingdom

Posts: 345
Speed Triple 955i (02-04)


icon04 Oct 2018 22:43
Earl 2:
Armageddon :lol:


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
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BINKIE -AKA Woodie
Upper Bucklebury,
United Kingdom

Posts: 2,351
Tiger (07->)


icon05 Oct 2018 10:13
Earl 2:
Armageddon :lol:


:lol::pirate::lol::pirate::lol:
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StomaStumpy
Lincolnshire,
United Kingdom

Posts: 4,255
Tiger Sport


icon10 Oct 2018 12:57
Abdomino perineal rectal excision

That basically means that the location and extent of my tumour will require the remove of my anus and rectum so I'll live with a permanent stoma and bag.
Not the news I wanted to hear and this will be life changing. However the alternative is less attractive and I will tackle this head on. Now I know what is going to happen I just want to crack on and get it sorted. Surgery has been set for 25th October.
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ST
South,
United Kingdom

Posts: 109,018
Enthusiast


icon10 Oct 2018 13:10
49 sorry to hear that - but with that great attitude you have I'm sure it will work out mate 49
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Krautophile
Hunts & Crawley,
United Kingdom

Posts: 57,365
Street Triple


icon10 Oct 2018 15:48
Indeed what ST said. All the best :thumbup::thumbup:
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